Snark: 50 Reasons NOT to Impeach

As a public service, I'd like to offer Capitol Hill Democrats, Beltway consultants, and timorous Democratic operatives a laundry list--50 in all--of reasons why we shouldn't even think of holding George W. Bush and Dick Cheney accountable for their shock-and-awe campaign against checks and balances, the separation of powers, and the rule of law.

Feel free to borrow them, girls and boys!

Drum roll, please...

1. Only one impeachment allowed per generation.

2. The stars and planets aren't properly aligned and won't be until 2009.

3. David Broder might get upset.

4. What happens if terrorists strike again and Bush's popularity goes back up to 90 percent?

5. It would divert attention from the Democrats' 75-point prescription-drugs-for-seniors plan.

6. Democratic senators who are running for president might have to take a stand.

7. Republicans are from Mars, Democrats are from Venus.

8. The pro-impeachment lobby is stingy with contributions.

9. A blow job is easy to understand, abuse of power isn't.

10. The DLC will accuse us of being "weak on national security."

11. Impeaching Bush will guarantee that the next Democratic president will be impeached.

12. Bush might have unspent political capital to use against us.

13. An impeachment debate might force lawmakers to work nights and weekends.

14. Impeachment wasn't discussed by Peter Hart's latest focus group.

15. People might think we're a bunch of radicals.

16. Real men settle their differences by dueling, not impeachment.

17. The next Democratic president will wave a magic wand and undo the excesses of the Bush years.

18. Articles of impeachment can't fit on a bumper sticker.

19. No corporate sponsors have signed up for it.

20. You can't impeach during football season. Or basketball season. Or baseball season. Or during sweeps months.

21. The uncertainty of impeachment might roil financial markets.

22. The New York Times hasn't given the green light.

23. Bush and Cheney won't show up for the trial. Then what?

24. There's nothing in the Bible about impeachment.

25. James Carville would have to take a stand.

26. Impeachment would embolden the terrorists.

27. Can't we all just get along?

28. Impeachment didn't poll well in Ohio and Missouri.

29. 9/11 changed everything.

30. We have no idea how Chief Justice Roberts would rule. Too unpredictable.

31. Jeb! is next in the line of succession behind Bush and Cheney.

32. The Senate is 0-for-2 in impeachment trials. Bad trend.

33. We can't tie a president's hands during wartime.

34. These guys are lame ducks. Why bother impeaching them now?

35. They might counter-sue for damages, and then the Supreme Court will rule in their favor.

36. Impeachment might become a campaign issue.

37. The Commander-in-Chief power trumps the Impeachment Clause.

38. Mitch McConnell might try to filibuster the Senate trial.

39. Hearings? In this heat?

40. Years from now, history might exonerate this president.

41. A Democratic president with Bush's new-found powers will be better able to do good.

42. Remember, Bush is a uniter, not a divider.

43. If members of Congress listen to constituents, it will set a bad precedent.

44. Constitutional crisis? What constitutional crisis?

45. Impeachment will complicate Democratic efforts to "reach out" to conservatives.

46. Karl Rove is a political wizard, and he'll use impeachment to the GOP's advantage.

47. Bush and Cheney were given a mandate in the 2004 election.

48. No Starr Report, no impeachment.

49. By passing the September 2001 AUMF, Congress waived its right to impeach this president.

50. Profiles in courage? That was so 20th century.